Thursday, November 8, 2007

Surprise!

Well, for those of you that don't know.....I am pregnant.....again. This makes baby #3. The funny thing is that it was planned. I knew when "it" happened that I would be pregnant. Although, I am still freaking out a bit. I am 37 years old pregnant with my third child. I will have 3 children 3 years old and under. I think I am either 7 or 8 weeks along. Normally, I would keep it quiet until after the 1st trimester, but I am already "showing". It is too hard to hide. And I am tired of making excuses to why I am sick all of the time. Surprisingly, I already had an ultrasound at 6 weeks.

I realize I have not been blogging and for that matter on the web. I have been so nauseated and just feeling bad. I used to be on the web before the kids woke up and after they went to bed, but not anymore. I now find myself curled up in a ball until after the kids awake and go to bed soon after they go to sleep. Sometimes as early as 8 o'clock. I don't remember being this tired. It isn't just being tired, I feel completely exhausted.

Am I old? Is this why I am feeling like crap? I know, I am too old to be having babies while I still have 2 toddlers. So, of course I am considered high risk. Not only because of my age, but because of my 2 previous c-sections.

This is a topic that really frustrates me and quite frankly angers me. My first child was breech, so it was a medically necessary c-section. The next delivery should have been natural, but my doctor convinced me the baby was growing so fast that they needed to do a c-section. In hind sight, I realize neither my health nor my baby's health were in jeopardy. This one was not medically necessary. What I do know is that doctors hate having to stay in the hospital the whole time while a mom tries to labor for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). It is no longer about what a patient wants. It is about what is more convenient for the doctor. They are the ones getting paid for their services. I don't understand why they cannot go through with a patient's wishes. I am a nurse and understand the medical standpoint, but I had no health risk factors that would prevent me. I do realize there is a place for everything. I do know that if it is a risk for the baby or mother's safety then, so be it, a c-section is necessary.

I have made birth plans, but never really made light of them to my doctor. I feel like this time I should and stick to it. When I went in for my appointment last week, she immediately said, "you know you will be having a c-section, right?" And I said, No, I won't unless it is truly medically necessary. I told her don't be surprised if I don't show up for my scheduled c-section. I will labor at home and and go in when the time is ready. Of course, if there are any complications, I will change the plan, but I feel like it should be my plan.

I just feel so cheated that I didn't experience labor for either birth. Not even one labor pain. It is a "Rite of Passage" that I was not given the opportunity. I really want it, unless it will bring harm to the baby. I think the closest to labor I felt was during my true first pregnancy when I was miscarrying. (Don't send pity over this, I am over it.) So in actuality, this is my 4th pregnancy. I try to forget about the 1st one.

So, my goal is to have a natural vaginal childbirth after 2 c-sections. My doctor thinks I am nuts, but this is my will. I am scouring the New Orleans area to find a new doctor that will work with me, but it seems that all the doctors that would have, have fled the area since Katrina. If you know of someone, please let me know (leave a comment or email me).

13 comments:

Heather said...

Congrats! I wish you all the best and hopefully, you can find a doc willing! Best of luck to you!

Heather said...

Thanks for stopping by :) The song is Everything by Michael Buble!

The 3 gift idea is a great idea! Might be something to consider!

redtex said...

I don't know about NO, but I'm from Houston. I know it's a long drive, but if you have family in the Houston area or are able to swing it if you don't find someone in LA, you'll want Dr Joan Mastrobatista, at Memorial Hermann Hospital. She was my OB for my second son (her partner, who left for another job, was my first OB, so it's the same practice). I'm high-risk for pre-term labor, lupus, and rheumatoid arthritis. She's fabulous.
Try lemon wedges for the nausea. I've heard lemon Altoids work well too. It took the edge off, for a little while. I had 4 kids in 5 yrs, and the last pregnancy with the twins was by far the worst. My water broke at 22 weeks, so it all went south after that, but up to that point, I was sick and tired all the time. I couldn't even pick my head up off the couch without puking. I don't know if it was age, or double trouble, hormones with a female (twins were b/g), or what. It was awful.
Good luck, sweetie!!

Alex & Maya said...

First of all, I have missed you Chica! Secondly, CONGRATULATIONS!
You are not old! think positive and happy thoughts. Prayers for a wonderful pregnancy... I highly recommend the book Giving Birth: A Journey Into the World of Mothers and Midwives by Catherine Taylor.. I read it before I was ever prego and it brought me so much information and comfort in knowing that our bodies are DESIGNED for birth..
Take care.

kiki36 said...

Congratulations!!!
Both of children were born via c-section and although they were both determined medically necessary, I had full labor pains and was 10cm with the 1st one and 8cm dilated with the second one when I entered the operating room. I really wanted to have a natural birth, I totally understand your feelings.
Have you looked into a birthing center or midwifery? Although my Doctor was willing to do a VBAC, not all are. I don't know if a birthing center may be more open. Best Wishes!!

armywife said...

Oh wow...congrats!!

beki said...

Congrats! --- and buckle your seatbelt, hee hee!!

anamay said...

Wow, congratulations! That is such a nice surprise!!! Hopefully all will come the way you imagine and wish.

amygeekgrl said...

congratulations!! :)

would you consider a homebirth with a midwife? i wish you all the best with finding a provider that you feel comfortable with and that will honor your wishes. :)

lazybrain said...

Congrats!!! I se Dr. Byrd @ Ochsner...I love him. I had a VBAC with my last child. He respected my decision about that and when I was having my miscarriage issues...let me know.

everyonesmom said...

CONGRATS TO YOU AND HUBBY AND THE LITTLE ONES YOU ALREADY HAVE!

GreenStyleMom said...

Congratulations!! Sorry about the morning sickness...

Good for you for trying to have a VBAC. In Colorado it is actually against the law to VBAC after 2 c-sections. Isn't that crazy?

Have you seen the film The Business of Being Born? It is great. They are doing screenings all over the country right now.

jugglingmom said...

So Exciting! Congratulations! You might find a midwife service and either use them or ask them to refer you to a doctor since they would know the doctors who would try to honor your birth wishes. I had a homebirth for my first child --at 40! But the second one was the opposite --in the hospital for a week and then a C-Section with a preterm delivery. So I have experienced the gamut and while the homebirth was an incredible experience, I must say that when it comes to labor and birthing issues, I have always just prayed that the baby comes out healthy and whole. But you should just worry about resting now since it is pretty exhausting to be pregnant with two little ones at your feet so take it easy and no worries! You are creating a beautiful baby!